If you aren’t a confident person – you need to learn how to be confident like… right away.
Confident people act differently and live a better life.
Instead of spending time doing things they don’t want to do and feeling guilty when they don’t – they’re busy living their best life.
Wouldn’t it be nice to feel good about what you do? Wouldn’t it feel amazing to get love from the inside instead of always worrying about pleasing others?
Hello, I am Jessica and I am a recovering people pleaser.
Before my Mom died in 2012, I was not a people pleaser. I always knew I had my Mom and her life.
When she died – it rocked my world. It rocked my confidence.
I gained and maintained 50 lbs pounds and am just working that off almost seven years later as I’ve got my rock-solid confidence back.
Since I “lost” my confidence and got it back – I decided I would share how to be confident with you too.
What You Have to Know About How to Be Confident
First off – YES. It is important to be confident.
And yes, you should keep reading this post.
Confidence will change your life. Instead of second-guessing every action you make, you will walk forward knowing that what you do will all work out.
Even if you fall. Even if you lose some people along the way. Even if you get hurt – it’s aiight. 😉
Live a Better Life with These 9 Tips
So, here you go. Here are the tips so pay attention. <3
1. Do Something You’ve Always Wanted To
How many things do you have on your “bucket list.”
For beep’s sake – why do you want a bucket list?
Why not change that in for a live list?
I’m sorry/not sorry but I do NOT want to do anything on my bucket list. I do not plan on kicking the bucket any time soon.
Find things that you want to do and go for it. Don’t wait until tomorrow, next week or next month. At least put the plans into action.
Generate the extra money that you need to do it. Figure out how is going with you (if anyone.) Pack your bags.
Whatever it is that you’ve always wanted to do – do it. Show yourself that your dreams aren’t just dreams – they are plans!
2. Push Beyond Your Personal Limitations
We often don’t even realize that we’re limiting ourselves. We say that we want something and we immediately stop ourselves from doing it/having it, etc.
Because where we are now is safe. Where we are now is easy. We can hide behind what we know.
Where we are, what we are doing and who we are with is safe.
We know the surroundings, what know how to do what we’re doing and the people around us at least tolerate us and some even like or love us!
Why leave? Why do something different?
Because your soul is freaking dying every time you tell it no because you’re a chicken shit! That’s freakin’ why. What the hell?
3. Learn a New Skill
Learning a new skill allows us to have more to offer the world. The more value we can offer to the world marketplace the easier it is to be confident.
If one job isn’t working out, we always have something else we can offer. Having a back up doesn’t mean that you don’t believe in your other job or that you’re dividing your focus too much.
Pick something that you can enjoy so while you’re learning you don’t feel like it’s a chore. You’re learning a new skill, and you’re enjoying it. Have at it.
4. Become a Master
What do you already do? Whatever you’re doing, you can become a master at it.
When you become a master – you become the go-to source. People want to hire you, pick your brain and figure out ways to be valuable so they can hang out bc you’re cool.
While some experts say it takes 10,000 hours to become an expert, it may not be as much as all of that. What if you could become a rockstar in 20 hours of committed focus? Give it a shot.
5. Use Failures as Stepping Stones
Oh, gawd… the all terrifying failures.
I mean – who likes to fall on their face? It definitely isn’t the coolest thing.
Side story: When I started dating my husband of now 12 years, I was in a sexy santa helper content at a night club. I was there with another dude and he was not cool with my scant clothing so he got mad and was leaving.
Picture me — in my santa dress, candy cane stockings and platform strappy shoes. #facepalm hahah – running across the dance floor to stop this dude and he storms out.
Wait! Don’t go!
Anyway… dude leaves because he’s mad but that’s AFTER I tripped over a very drunk dude – VERRY DRUNK – that wanted to stop me and say I should have one.
Thanks random drunk dude. Can you even see what I look like? yeah – no? Thanks but that makes it a little less flattering. haha..
Anyway. I tripped over the drunk dude and my hubs saw it all. Bleh
I didn’t stay on the floor and wait for drunk guy or any of the other people to help me up. I got the heck back up and went running again. haha
Granted the dude I was on the date with ended up leaving (lol) but I know I won out in the end with my hubs and our beautiful family. Anyway… back out of the story… hahah
Anyway… for real.
It’s fine to fail. Fail as much as you possibly can.
Most people are freakin’ scared they will still fail but it will be tiny failures they can hide.
Fail to find their keys. Fail to pack lunch for their kids. Fail to pass a test on the first try.
Public failure is the biggest terrifying fear EVER because everyone is such an asshole when we fail.
“Ha! I knew it. She’s such a dreamer. Looooserrrr. I knew she was going to fail.”
Jokes on you b*tches – I’m on the rise again. lol
Whatever you think people are saying about you – it’s probably worse. But that’s okay. Let them talk.
Don’t let people get in your head or you’re never ever going to get through it.
6. Give Yourself a Talking To
People say you’re crazy if you talk to yourself. Well forget about ’em. They are crazy if they don’t talk to themselves.
Talking to yourself can be the best conversation you’ll ever have.
You generally know what you’re supposed to do. You know what you’d tell someone else to do.
Step outside of your body and let yourself know who is boss. You’re boss. You’re going to do what you know you need to do and not let anything get in your way.
TALK TO YOURSELF EXAMPLES
“Girlfriend! What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you worrying about someone that doesn’t give a sh*t about you on the other side of the world thinks???”
“Woman, rise up. Quit crying. Feeling defeated. Worrying. And being unhealthy! Get yourself together.”
“You deserve everything you ever wanted in life. Now go WORK FOR IT!”
“You want a better life?? Play a bigger game girl. You’ve got this!”
Sometimes I’ll just say this stuff in my head but other times, I’ll say it to myself because that’s what it takes. I recommend doing it out loud if you can without being committed.
7. Think Positive
I’m not saying that you think your problems away. I am saying that you don’t make them worse than they are.
My mom was a massive worrier. She worried until her last breath.
When she died – I got scared.
What if all of her worrying was really important? What if she was keeping me and my family alive with her worry superpower? It was a terrifying thought
So I started worrying myself.
I lost a massive chunk of my business, got evicted and had to move back in with my Dad.
Worry – not good!
While people in your life might mean well by worrying for you. It isn’t doing you or anyone else any good. It’s not build up invisible get out of harm free cards. STOP that sh*t!
8. Be Curious
The more curious you are, the more you’re likely to do. When you get out and do things, your confidence will grow. You’ll get to know more people that are curious and find friends with common interests and goals.
When you’re curious and you go out discovering, you’ll find more good than you do bad. Just get out there!
9. Give Self-Doubt the Middle Finger
Yes, this is a very very imporant one. Stop second-guessing yourself. The more you do this – the more you’ll do this. It’s HORRIBLE.
It’s like a life sucking black hole of doubt.
You won’t help yourself or others doubting.
You’ll put pressure on people outside of yourself to make you feel smart enough, good enough and ready enough for whatever the heck it is we want to do.
F*ck off self-doubt. Jump in a lake. Fly a kite!
Continue to Up-Level Your Life
Don’t worry about leaving other people in the dust. As you’re learning how to be confident and live a better life – some people will fall away. You don’t need everyone.
Not having people in my life was something I was so scared of. I was afraid to post my true views on social media.
I was afraid people were going to think I was a terrible person. I found that as I quit hiding my truth – people that were right for me came into my life. Keep developing yourself as a person by reading more of my personal development articles and book reviews.