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Saying Goodbye: How to Know When to End a Relationship

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Couple Relaxing

Knowing when to end a relationship can be difficult. Whether you’re talking about a romantic relationship or a friendship, these connections can form very deeply and work their way into our identity.

 

You’ve been through a lot together but there’s got to be a reason that you’re questioning your relationship, right?

 

 

Even if you still love that person, that doesn’t mean that the relationship should go on. Continue reading this article to learn more about when you should put an end to a relationship.

 

When Small Things Add Up to Big Things

 

Something terrible doesn’t necessarily have to happen in a relationship for you to start noticing it’s coming to an end.

 

It could be one thing after another after another or the same small thing over and over again. If you notice these things are wearing you down, it’s time to take a closer look at the relationship.

 

As relationships age, it is easy to fall into a certain type of comfort and start taking each other for granted. The things we once thought were unspeakable, that we would never do to that person, we do them and vice versa.

 

When Deal-Breaker Behaviors You Didn’t Know About Show Up

 

 

If you find out there are deal-breaker behaviors going on and you didn’t know about them at the beginning of the relationship, it may be time to say goodbye.

 

People are oftentimes very good at hiding their true nature until they have safely embedded themselves into your life. Not only that, they might have started these bad behaviors during your relationship.

 

Some of the common things that might be deal-breakers in your relationships.

 

  • Hidden criminal record
  • Unmentioned child
  • Undisclosed divorces
  • Addictions (Current or past)

 

And there are any more you can add to the list depending on what you’re willing to live with.

 

Check Out This Video About When to End a Relationship

 

I found this amazing video by Brendon Burchard about when to leave a relationship and if you don’t already follow him, you totally should. His story is amazing and I love his message.

 

I want to go through some of the important points he went over below and give my take on them. You should also watch the video. He has a great way of explaining things.

 

 

Yeah, I know — the thumbnail is a little harsh with “When to quit on someone”, but it is what it is.

 

My Take on the Points in the Video About When to End a Relationship

 

I’ve ended my fair share of relationships and it’s not always been fun but I agree with what Brendon said in the video above. I am going to explain it my own way but I’m really glad I found the points in the video.

 

1. When There is Abuse

 

This is a major one and I don’t only think physical abuse is a good reason to end a relationship, but I believe mental and emotional abuse is a good reason to end a relationship.

 

And that goes both ways. If you’re abusing someone or they are abusing you — get out. You don’t want to be that person.

 

In this article, they actually go into 6 different types of abuse:

 

  • Physical
  • Sexual
  • Verbal/Emotional
  • Mental/Psychological
  • Financial/Economic
  • Cultural/Identity

 

If you’re experiencing any of these types of abuse — leave the relationship now.

 

Repeat Failed Discussions

 

If you’ve spoken to this person about a specific issue of extreme importance multiple times and have shared back and forth about your feelings and needs, and you just can’t get it together, it might be time to go.

 

When you can see that neither of you is going to give on the matter and it’s making you both miserable, why continue to stay and have the fight?

 

I don’t believe you should just bail on someone because they are “negative”. There are a lot of people that say you should do that and I love that Brendon points out that you don’t need to bail on someone because they aren’t 100% positive and happy.

 

3. Repeated Neglect

 

If the person in the relationship never does their part in the relationship, it’s time to say goodbye. If you’ve made the requests, had those discussions and they keep failing over and over — that’s it. There’s no reason to let people make you feel useless.

 

 

4. Repeated Lies

 

Worse than neglect, if your partner, friend, employee — whatever. If they keep telling you one thing and doing another, it’s time to tell them cya.

 

If you aren’t sure if they are lying to you, you might want to take a look and see if they are lying to others. If they are lying to other people, they are lying to you.

 

5. No Appreciation

 

Even if people say they appreciate you but you don’t feel appreciated, that’s not a healthy relationship. Talk to that person and tell them how you feel and if they still don’t come around, don’t stay in a thankless relationship.

 

It’s sad when you’ve invested a lot in a relationship, but that’s not a good reason to stay in a relationship.

 

When to End a Relationship – Only You Know

 

While we’ve talked about when to end a relationship, you’re the only one that really knows when it’s time to go but the above things are definitely signs that you need to strongly consider removing that person from your life.

 

It’s never easy to remove someone from your life, especially if you feel like you owe them something. But if it’s not working for you, it’s probably not working for them and it’s time to let things go.

 

What are your thoughts?

 

Have you dealt with things like this before?

 

Feel free to leave a comment. I’d love to hear from you.

 

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Get Happier! Buying Experiences Not Things

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Did you know that buying experiences not things could be the first step to achieving more happiness in your life?

 

While things can be helpful and enjoyable, I rarely light up again after the initial opening of the thing I bought. On the other hand, when I go experience something amazing, I light up every time I think about it and retell the adventure.

 

Continue reading this article to learn more about why you should spend money on experiences instead of things to experience more happiness.

 

The Trend of Less is More

 

I read this article about Millenials choosing experiences over things and I started feeling a little less like a freak of nature.

 

When my family and I decided to hit the road and live the full-time RV life, some of my friends were not super supportive because they didn’t understand how or why I would do this.

 

How dare you uproot your family and travel around the country.

 

After we started this lifestyle, I started realizing there were a lot of people out there like me that were ready to live with less. Around a million people actually live in their RVs full time.

 

Here is a video of our RV tour and this is after we upgraded a little bit from our previous space. And btw, we are going to upgrade a little bit more. We are glad to live with less but sometimes you find out your current less is a little too little. hahah

 

 

When we lived in our house with 4 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms, we barely used the thing and I was always working so hard to pay for it.

 

Now that we live a life of less, I feel much happier and healthier and I am able to enjoy my kids.

 

Nothing Can Replace an Experience

 

I have to say that one of the biggest reasons to spend money on experiences instead of collecting things is because experiences can’t be replaced.

 

It makes sense to me to rent things that you don’t use regularly and only buy things that we are going to use on a daily or at least weekly basis.

 

Since we can work anywhere that we want to and more people are able to do this, why would we want to buy a house when we hardly ever stay there? All of the repairs and upkeep and — bleh!

 

I would rather spend all of that money on doing things like going to the Grand Canyon or going up Skybridge in Gatlinburg, TN!

 

Less Stress When Things Are Simple

 

When you keep your life simple and don’t own a lot of things, it’s much less stressful.

 

I watched these guys below and while I’m not planning on going that far, it was very eye-opening.

 

 

When something I own breaks or there is some problem with someone, it’s super stressful.

 

I have to pay someone to fix it or figure it out myself.

 

If I don’t own it, I let the person that owns it take care of it because that’s the deal.

 

Easy.

 

Focus on What You Value Instead of Buying Things

 

If you’re like me, you value family — a lot.

 

I would rather do things that are simple and enjoy everyday life than spend years of my life traveling for business and never seeing my family.

 

While I don’t judge people that do that, it’s not the route for me.

 

I’d rather homeschool my kids and work as a writer and internet marketer doing what I love.

 

When you own a lot of things that you have to pay for, you don’t get a choice. You have to work work work to pay for all of the things you owe on.

 

Debt can be a very harsh master.

 

Check Off Items On Your Live List

 

While most people call it their bucket list, I really don’t like that. I call it my live list.

 

Creating a list of things you want to do and looking at the list stay the same year after year can be very depressing.

 

You’re saddled down to all of your things. You can’t possibly do anything because you have to work weekdays and weekends just to pay for everything.

 

When you focus on buying experiences not things, you’re going to be able to check more items off your live list and that gives you an amazing feeling of accomplishment and excitement.

 

And don’t worry — you won’t run out of things to do when you’re buying experiences not things. The world is so big and you are going to continually find new things to do.

 

Expand your live list, go out there and experience the things that matter to you most and watch your level of happiness soar.

 

Buying Experiences Not Things – For the Win!

 

Now that you know more about why you should be buying experiences not things to live a happier life, what can you do about it?

 

You are likely tired of the lack of money ruining your life and don’t even notice all of the things you have that are draining your finances.

 

Think about how many times you’ve had to have something fixed or spend money on maintenance.

 

Do you want to learn more about living a happier and more fulfilled life? Read through the rest of my blog and you might want to check out this article specifically – How to Live on a Budget Without Being Miserable if you want to start budgeting but don’t want to hate it.

 

Buy Experiences Not Things

I Feel Useless: How to Overcome Feelings of Worthlessness

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I feel useless.

 

Have you ever said this? Or maybe just thought it to yourself?

 

I can tell you that I’ve felt this I feel useless way more than a few times. When I was feeding my family Ramen noodles for lunch and supper every day going after a goal I believed in at that time, I felt useless. Totally useless.

 

When our electric got cut off because I couldn’t bother to look at the due date because I was afraid that we weren’t going to have the money to pay the bill — I felt useless.

 

If you’re feeling useless, it’s not abnormal and there is a way out. Continue reading this article to learn how to overcome feelings of worthlessness.

 

Start Your Morning Off Right

 

If you don’t win your mornings, the rest of the day is going to be a runaway train. You’re going to get to the end of the day and feel like you didn’t accomplish anything and that’s when that worthless feeling really creeps in a lot of the time.

 

Wake up a little earlier in the morning and give yourself time to breathe and think about the good things you want to happen.

 

Practicing self care in the morning is a great way to start showing yourself that you care. If you don’t take care of yourself, that feeling of worthlessness is only going to grow.

 

Your self care plan might be different than mine and that’s okay. You have to decide what is going to work for you in the morning.

 

I like writing out morning pages and letting all of my demons out on paper or on my morning pages app on my iPhone. I also have a cup of hot tea which I find very soothing. Sometimes I also meditate which is very calming.

 

Even if you can only take 10 or 15 minutes for yourself — do it. Just try it for a couple of weeks and see how you’ll start to feel better about yourself.

 

Help Someone Else

 

One of the fastest ways to feel good about yourself and stop the feelings of uselessness is to help someone that is in a worse situation than you.

 

It doesn’t have to be anything big.

 

Say something nice to a stranger and make them smile. Hold the door for someone or find a volunteer opportunity in your community.

 

For me, this blog is one of the ways that I give back. I want to share hope with you and anyone else that takes the time to read these blogs. My heart goes out to people that feel helpless, hopeless, useless and worthless.

 

If you’re a writer then you might consider sharing your journey and your steps out of these feelings to help other people.

 

It’s great for accountability.

 

Do Mirror Work

 

I watched this great video by Marisa Peer and I am going to share it with you below. I was going through such a terrible time and feeling so down about myself when I saw this video and it was super helpful.

 

I wrote “I am enough” on my mirror in the red lipstick like she said to do in the video. And I told myself how amazing I was and it felt stupid for a really long time but then I started feeling better and things in my life started changing.

 

It may not have been all due to this but it definitely did have something to do with it. Give it a watch.

 

 

Create an Evidence Book of Your Awesomeness

 

When someone gives you a compliment, when you accomplish something that you’re proud of or if you can think of anything else that makes you feel good about yourself, write it down in an evidence book.

 

When you’re feeling low and you’re feeling useless, open the book and remind yourself who you are. Remind yourself how amazing you are.

 

This evidence book can be your lifeline when no one else is there to tell you how amazing you are. You can read this book to keep your awesomeness fresh in your mind.

 

Set a goal to have so many things written down in your evidence book and set appointments with yourself to sit down and read through the book to keep yourself feeling good.

 

Practice Gratitude to Stop Feelings of Uselessness

 

An attitude of gratitude will help you start to feel the goodness of your life. You’ll start to see there are good things in your life and you’ll start to focus on them because you’re practicing gratitude.

 

Practicing gratitude just means to sit and feel grateful. You might even write down what you feel grateful for in your gratitude journal.

 

The more grateful you feel, the less useless you’ll feel. You’ll start to see that you’ve done a lot, helped people and brought good into the world.

 

Stop Saying I Feel Useless – For Good

 

Now you have some tools that are going to help you stop saying “I feel useless.” It’s time to live your life and feel happiness and wholeness again.

 

You have control of your life and you can start your first steps toward feeling good about yourself. Maybe you’ve never felt good about yourself before. If you haven’t, it’s an amazing feeling — I guarantee it.

 

If you’re feeling good now and you’re out of the I feel useless stage, why not drop a comment of encouragement for someone else that’s feeling down?

 

Also, if you have seriously bad feelings and want to hurt yourself, please contact the National Helpline and talk to someone that can help you. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. The world needs you here, so make the call and get the help you need.

 

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